Claustrophobia and My Fear of Tourniquets

I am a claustrophobic! I have met so many people like me that I know I am not alone in this. I’ve been like this ever since I can remember being afraid of something. As far as I know, nothing specific has caused this. (No, my parents did not lock me in the dryer when I was young.) It’s just the way I am. I remember as a kid the scariest thing was the elevator at the mall. I would actually have dreams about wonderful, spacious elevators that had sofas and refrigerators! That way if I ever got stuck in one, I could relax on the sofa and have something to eat. Oh yes, and the lights were always on in my elevator dreams. I look back now and laugh – my dreams never had a bathroom in my elevator. Guess it wasn’t as important back then as it is now that I am an adult who likes to drink three glasses of tea with dinner!

I did face my elevator fear once and lived to tell about it. I was in a big hotel during a convention. I had already lugged my suitcases into my room and was downstairs for one of the meetings. I realized that I had left something important upstairs, and hopped on an elevator to quickly go retrieve it. That was when 50 million other people also got on the elevator. Alright, maybe not that many, but I was crammed in the back corner as several women with their hordes of luggage came for the ride. Sure enough, not too far along on our trip, the elevator stopped between floors. Breathe in … Breath out. We were stuck there for twenty minutes. You better believe that when I got out, the stairs were my next best friends!

Tied in, I believe, with my fear of small spaces is my fear of tourniquets and loss of blood circulation. I bet that’s a new one for most of you. I tried to see if there was a name for this phobia, but all I found on the Internet was someone else asking if there was an official name. (Which made me feel pretty good that I was not the only one in this world with this fear.) This first manifested itself in ninth grade health and drivers-ed class. (Same class with two objectives.) We had been “scared” by earlier students of this class that the drivers-ed movies were gory and might make some people faint. I fainted! But it wasn’t a drivers-ed movie that did it to me – it was a health movie. I remember some guy on the film was chopping wood. The view went to the scenery around as you heard the man cry out in pain. It was obvious that he had hit his leg with the axe. Oh yes, I think they even showed blood spurting out. The next thing to be done was to get a tourniquet on the man. THAT is when I lost it! Down I went onto top of my desk. Isn’t that crazy?? I just can’t handle the idea of stopping the flow of blood.

This carries over in several areas of my life. I cannot stand to see people put rubber bands around their fingers. They giddily watch as the top of their fingers turn white. I stare in horror and think they are idiots! Band-aids around my fingers are not allowed to get too tight. If I even think for a minute that it is too tight, I am frantically trying to tear it off….sometimes with my teeth!  Recently I had knee surgery and had to wear an ace bandage from my toes to above my knee. It wasn’t too bad while I was on the pain medicine. Life seemed oh so simple then! (grin) As the medicine wore off, though, I would imagine that the ace bandage was too tight around my knee. I ended up taking it off more often than I should. Finally the physical therapist gave me a compression sock instead. Believe it or not, that was better.

Giving blood is torture. Due to high cholesterol and a thing called PCOS, I have blood tests twice a year. I hate these. Seeing the blood is fine; that is not my problem. The needle – again, no problem. It is that awful rubber thing that the nurse ties around my upper arm! I know by now that as soon as the blood starts flowing to the tube, that rubber thing can come off. Some nurses apparently have not figured this out yet. I am sure my eyes are bulging as I am trying to somehow telepathically scream at the nurse to release my arm from this rubbery device of pain and suffering! Getting my blood pressure taken is the same sort of torture. Pump pump pump…listen (can’t hear what she wants to hear)…pump pump pump up some more….listen again. If she does this one more time, I usually will groan out loud. Somehow in my mind I am convinced suddenly that even though I came in for a routine checkup, I will be leaving with one less arm! It’s horrible. I know some of my blood pressure readings have been high in the past because I am freaking out about how to live the rest of my life as a left-hander. Can anyone relate??

One more area of my life is affected by this terrible fear of tourniquets and blood circulation being cut off. This is a little bit more PG-13, though. Imagine one article of clothing that women for some reason wear that ties a tourniquet around their chests. It squeezes tightly not allowing the lungs to have full functionality when it is time to breathe. It is something that I for one would have fun burning – the bra. I hate those things, and I wear them as little as possible! (I know -- you are shaking your head in bewilderment! ...but at least I can BREATHE!  HA!)  Thank goodness the Lord did not endow me too much. (I can’t believe that I just said that.) This is why I can get by with less time under the bra-niquet. I know what you are thinking, Ladies – what about those times when…well…you need the bra more for modesty than for support. I have one word for you – Band-aids! (Oh dear, will I totally lose all my readers after this blog??) I have two friends who do this, and one of them runs in much higher social circles that I do. (If it is good for her, then surely it is okay for me!) It is definitely not an everyday thing (maybe once a month); especially not for me because I am allergic to the adhesives in band-aids. I got to tell you, though, please remember your full schedule before using the band-aids. Standing in the changing room for your annual ob/gyn checkup is not the time to remember that you are wearing band-aid bras…especially if you rash from the adhesives! (Thank goodness for a doctor who said nothing during the exam.)  Enough said!

How do I overcome my claustrophobia and my fear of tourniquets? I have no idea. Instead, I avoid very small spaces (like tiny caves and the cabinets under my sink), try to give blood as little as possible, and wear shirts with a lot of decorations!   ...and by the way, I won't even get started on my fear of that spider that was crawling on the wall just a few minutes ago while I wrote this and now is missing from my sight....