Dating

Oh the dating years! Flirting, going out, laughing, dancing, long walks, holding hands…the highs, the lows. Do you remember them? I bet if you do, you are picturing yourself in your teens and early twenties. That’s how I picture dating. Except for the lows, I remember those dating years with fondness. I started a little late compared to my friends. I “went with” a boy in 8th grade, but I didn’t start dating until the second half of my senior year. After that, I dated several guys in college before meeting the man who would eventually become my ex-husband.

And that’s the rub -- he is now my ex-husband…has been for several years. It’s time to start dating again, but how do you do that in your forties and with children?? This is not the same scenario as when I was a young adult with no wrinkles, a youthful waistline, legs that went on forever, and unlimited free time. Not even close! Ha. It has been 8 years since my husband left, and I have yet to have one of those “he asked her out” dates. I’ve gone to dinner and to the movies with a man, but I was the one who suggested to my friend that we go. I spent a great day with another man, but it still was not a “he asked her out” date.

I am looking forward to a “real” date, but I am scared to death about it at the same time. I’ve had a couple friends offer to set me up with their friends but nothing has ever transpired. A blind date makes me panic, to be honest. Why? I think because I am afraid I will see disappointment in his eyes when he sees me. How horrible is that? Just a few days ago, I was having lunch with a friend and she realized that she had a friend that I might like. I just nodded. I didn’t push the matter because I am too afraid. Isn’t that funny! I can confidently face 150 middle school, hormone-driven children and their parents, but meeting a man I don’t know for dinner has me shaking at the knees. Back in our youth, we didn’t need to rely on blind dates. We met each other in classes, activities, and as friends of friends. We met, talked, had crushes, and finally one person would ask the other on a date. It was simple…well, sorta simple. Now I am a mother and a teacher. Basically almost everything I do has something to do with children, not adults. My friend told me I needed to go to a bar. She laughed because she knew that wasn’t my style. I laughed too.   :)

So what does a gal do when she would like to date but can’t do it the way she did when she was young? A few years ago on Valentine‘s Day, I ate through an entire box of chocolates as I spent an hour filling out the questions for eHarmony. How excited I was that I had 14 matches (or something like that) as soon as I finished. The excitement quickly faded as those matches started to close. After several months, I had seventy “rejections” and decided that I didn’t have an eHarmony face…or body for that matter. Online dating just was not for me. I’m listed as single on facebook, which means I get a lot of facebook ads for online dating. There are the ones that I have seen before: eHarmony (which is now on face book), Zoosk, and Match.com. A couple years ago I saw the ad for “Meet Millionaire Men” -- an online dating service for women looking for rich men. I laughed and as a joke created an account. For the next several months, I kept getting requests for communication from “Millionaire Men”. That cracked me up! I might have seen where it would lead, but if I remember correctly the fee to “talk” with these men was around $60 a month! Somebody was getting rich, that was for sure! Ha. Today I saw that “Meet Christian Singles” was advertising that “Autumn is a season for romance.” Hmmm, interesting.  (Fall for your man in the fall?)  I have received a couple ads for SeniorPeopleMeet.com. Oh dear, I don’t think I am ready for that yet. (grin) The other one I saw today made me laugh out loud. It advertised “Men who love curves…Men who prefer the woman in their life to have curves.” Okay, what man doesn’t want some curves? Seriously. Nowhere do I see a site advertising “Men who want flat-chested women.” I’m holding out for a website that advertises, “Men who are looking for big hips and tiny chests.” Ha! Okay, I’m done making fun of these online dating sites.

So, will I ever get a real “he asked her out” date? Yep, I think so. When? Oh, who knows?? I would love to go on a date right now, but it might not happen until my children are grown and in college. One thing I know for sure, if I do go on several dates, I bet I will have something else to write about. No way can I go on too many dates without having one of my famous “Jenny Moments” -- statistically it has to happen at least a couple times. And won‘t you have fun reading about it! (Grin!)