Did you just Fluff?

Parents of young kids are always helping their children give names to things that they are seeing or experiencing. For example, that shining red thing with lights and sounds that speeds down the road is a Fire Truck. That word you need to say before you ask for something is Please. You understand. Ok, so parents this is for you – what word did you use with your children when they (or you) passed gas? I’ve heard “passed gas”, “toot”, and “fart” – the last one being the one we probably don’t want our kids to say loudly in the middle of a restaurant!  I heard a term that was so cute that I decided to take it on and use it with my kids (we still use it) – Fluff. (As in, “Oh dear, did you just fluff?”) I don’t know what pictures were in my children’s heads, but I pictured soft white cotton balls floating up into the air! Oh my!

Don’t get me wrong, my children knew some of the other terms too. This became apparent one day when I was shopping with my young daughter. She might have been four or five years old. We got out of the car in the parking lot, and I let one slip…I fluffed. My daughter immediately said quite loudly, “Mommy, you farted!” I said in a quiet tone (hoping to encourage her to be quiet), “No honey, I fluffed.” She would have none of that! Louder and with the amused attention of some of the other parking lot customers, she said again, “Oh NO Mom, you FARTED.” Where is that place where parents can go hide once in awhile??

My son has learned (and maybe is still learning) that there are places where you just do not pass any gas. One day he and some of his cousins were playing Hide-and-Seek in our home. His hiding place was the empty cabinets under the bathroom sink. No one knew where he was until he finally burst out. “Ewwww,” he cried out. Apparently, he fluffed in the small confines of that cabinet, and the toxicity of it was enough to make him come shooting out.

My favorite story (and the reason I am actually writing this) happened when my son was about five years old. We were getting ready to go somewhere, and we were running late. In trying to quickly get dressed, I pulled a pair of jeans out of the dirty clothes pile for the short trip. As an added precaution to make sure they didn’t smell like dirty clothes, I dumped some baby powder down the pants before putting them on. I ran downstairs to get the kids ready and into the car. I dropped something and bent down to pick it up. As soon as I bent down, I fluffed. Oops. My son, who was behind me at the time, exclaimed with absolute amazement, “Cool Mom, SMOKE came out of your BOTTOM!!” Hmmm, that was the last time I ever powdered my pants. :)


Share