Tooth Fairy

Before I get started, I better give you a spoiler warning -- If you have kids (or spouses) who do not know the true identity of the Tooth Fairy, you might not want to read this to them. I do not want any hate mail because I ruined someone’s formative years with this truth. HA!

I do believe I am only ONE tooth away from retiring as the Tooth Fairy at my home. By now my children know that I am the one who remembers (and at sometimes, does not remember) to swap the I-wish-they-weren’t-still-a-bit-blood-stained teeth with money. I remember when this all started! We were at a restaurant with some friends when my son started talking about a tooth that was loose. With some guidance and maybe a bit more peer pressure than needed, we finally helped him get the tooth out. Woohoo!! My son had lost his first tooth! Do you ever wonder why we get so excited about that? I took pictures of the tooth. I took pictures of the bleeding, gaping hole in my son’s mouth. And I was proud!

That night, I had CJ put his tooth under his pillow and then I started to panic. How in the world was I supposed to find this small little tooth in the dark under my son’s pillow? This was crazy! And with as much movement as my son makes while he is sleeping, I was half afraid that the pillow itself would not be where I last saw it when I kissed my son goodnight. Despite my apprehension, I did find my son’s tooth and switched it with a quarter. I was feeling pretty good about myself. I not only found the tooth, but I gave my son a full quarter -- 15 cents MORE than what I got as a child! Okay, I felt good until the next day after preschool. My son bragged about his tooth and his quarter, and then found out that one child received $5 for his tooth! What???? A couple days later, my son was at Sunday school and talked about his tooth. That was when he found out that one child received a toy for his tooth. Come on parents!!! What gives?? How can I live up to this standard as a single mom??? The reality is -- I can’t.

Less than a week later, my son lost his second tooth. Under tremendous peer pressure from parents I had never met before, I upped the ante! CJ got TWO quarters for this tooth -- a full 50 cents! Of course, I had a very smart four-year old at that time. He looked at me and said, “I get it! One quarter for the first tooth. Two quarters for the second tooth. Three quarters for the third tooth…..and it keeps going.” Uh Oh! I did have some time to think up a plan -- teeth #3 and #4 took awhile before they came out. On the third tooth, my son did receive 3 quarters. With the fourth tooth, he got 4 quarters and a note: “From now on, you will receive one dollar for each tooth.” Although I think my son was a bit sad that the amount wasn‘t going to keep increasing, he was getting four times as much as I had originally planned AND ten times as much as I got per tooth when I was a kid!

I did get smarter with the actual nightly tooth placement. I do believe I palmed the second tooth (pretended to put it under my son’s pillow). I felt a bit nervous that he would catch me or panic if he went to check his tooth and could not find it. My sister-in-law gave me another suggestion. She has her kids put their teeth in a glass of water on their dresser. A bit messy and wet, but it would definitely make the hunt for the tooth much easier. The best idea came from my mother. She purchased a tooth pillow -- a small little pillow that had a tiny pocket for the tooth. It had a small strap that allowed the whole thing to hang from a bedpost or a door knob. That was perfect and I found that 4 quarters or a dollar bill could fit into the pocket nicely. By the time my daughter started losing teeth, the whole process was in good working order. With her first tooth, my son promptly explained the score -- first tooth gets ONE quarter, second tooth gets TWO quarters….and so on until the fourth tooth. The only time I had a problem was when they both lost a tooth on the same day. I don’t even remember how I solved that one. Maybe I got the glass of water out for one of them.

I haven’t always been a perfect Tooth Fairy. More than once, I have forgotten to switch the tooth for the money. Ooops. In fact, there have been times when it has been forgotten a couple days in a row. Finally as my son was catching on to the fact that maybe I was the Tooth Fairy, I would say things like, “Hmmm. The Tooth Fairy has no money in her purse tonight. You need to give her a couple days to get some cash.” HA! Oh, so some of you have totally ripped the Mother of the Year banner from me, haven’t you?!? I got to tell you - I am not the only one who has forgotten! In fact, I got the idea to write this when I saw one of my friend’s status remarks on facebook. She, too, had forgotten to do the switch. She had several other parents comment on her status. My favorite (probably because it made me feel much better about my job) was the parent who admitted needing to break into her son’s piggy bank for the tooth money because she didn‘t have any money. Oh my word, that is too funny!

Now I have an all-important question for my fellow Tooth Fairies. What do you do with your children’s teeth? How many of you keep them in a jar or a box or somewhere??? I do! This is going to sound so wrong, but all of my children’s teeth are mixed together and hanging out in a jewelry box with my old wedding ring. Seriously, how has my old diamond ring become the guardian of the abandoned teeth? Oh well, many of the teeth are bigger than the diamond -- it just gets lost in there. HA. And WHY do we keep these teeth? Really? Have you ever stopped to ask yourself that? Did we think we were going to make a necklace….or did we need proof that our kids once HAD teeth…or are we hoping that we can get enough DNA from the teeth if our children get lost?? Teeth aren’t good for scrapbook pages, I can tell you that!

So why do we keep the teeth? Is this like pulling the tail on a tiger or raising our hands on a roller coaster? Are we looking for the thrill of trying to keep a secret while leaving evidence in places to be found? My mother kept our teeth in little pill bottles complete with our names on the bottles. One day I was bored and decided I would rummage through my mother’s dresser drawers (guess I was bad that way…ha). That was when I found the bottles of our teeth!! Evidence was all I needed, and I had the Truth! From the stories that I have been told, I thought what I had done was the best Big Sister thing I could think of -- I TOLD my little sister and brother that MOM was the Tooth Fairy! That might not have happend as I remembered.  Not too long after I wrote this blog, Mom wrote me.  (Hey Mom, thanks for reading this!!!)  This is what she wrote: "Actually what you did when you found the little bottle of your teeth was run outside and grab the little neighbor boy by the shoulders, give him a shake, and tell him, 'I know who the Tooth Fairy is, I know who the Tooth Fairy is.'"  I was such a brat! I wonder if his mom ever forgave me. (Grin)

At this point our lives, my children do know that I am their Tooth Fairy. My daughter has one more tooth to go. I might as well just hand her the dollar and tell her to let me know once the tooth is out. Ha. This just makes it all nice and neat. My children do not know that I still have their teeth. I can’t give them back exactly, because I put them all in the same box. I guess I could at least show them what their teeth looked like. I am sure one of them will say “Gross” while the other one will think they are cool. In fact, knowing my daughter, she will want to keep them in her room “forever.” Maybe I should just throw them away someday while I am cleaning the bathroom….and then sell that diamond ring to replenish the money I lost as the Tooth Fairy. Grin!

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